I didn’t post any work on instagram for almost 2 years. It's not that I had a valid reason, it just kind of happened. It was the morning of March 29th, 2019 and my last post was scheduled for later that day. I was at the hospital with my best friend who was in labor and I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. It just didn't matter anymore. The likes, the views, the audience engagement, profile clicks, nothing mattered. I was building a human. My pregnancy journey started as I watched another journey come to an end, bringing a beautiful baby girl into this world. It wasn't a conscious decision, but my main focus shifted.
After I found out I was pregnant my focus turned to nourishing my body (with pints of ice cream) and preparing the house for our new arrival (putting hoards of clothes into storage that were no longer practical). But pregnancy sucks. There's no glow, it's sweat. There's no joy, it's imagining the day when this baby is no longer sitting on your bladder and kicking you in the ribs. Building a human is hard work and if any woman says otherwise, she's lying. I had no issues continuing to shoot while pregnant (possibly because my over protective assistants barely let me pick up a stand...), but I still had no desire to post anything. It still wasn't my focus.
And then before I knew it, my daughter was here.
The first year of motherhood. What the f&#k??? (sorry mom). It takes a village. And when the majority of that first year is spent in a global pandemic, locked down, with social restrictions - it still takes a village, you just don't have one available so you have to be your own village. And here I thought pregnancy was hard...hahaha. I won't get into the emotional rollercoaster that is the first year of motherhood or I'd be writing a book, all I will say is if you have a friend who recently had a baby - check in, call, drop by, ask if they need anything, bring over a sandwich. They need you more than they will ever admit. I worked as much as I could that first year. But when I got home from a shoot my energy went to my baby girl, not into building an instagram following.
When I was ready to re-emerge into the social media life, I made this series dedicated to my new life of motherhood.